True Love

True Love

I hope you have true love in your life.  older couple holding hands copy

So busy… so many other things that take our attention…  time can slip right away…we can become so self-focused… and we can miss it.  But I hope you don’t.

I hope you are doing the right things to have True Love in your life. 

This blog is not just for those who are married.  It is about experiencing True Love.  In friendships.  In marriage.  Sadly, many who are married, are married in name only.  So much arguing and selfishness.  “You cannot get what you want so you quarrel and fight.” That’s what James wrote (chapter 4) over 2000 years ago.  It’s true today.  The divorce statistics are heart-breaking.  Many just live under the same roof.  Not connected.  Not in love.  And leave it at that. 

But there’s so much more.

There can be Oneness. Deep caring.  We can have a connection that brings incredible joy to the one we love and to ourselves!   Moving outside of myself and into that other one’s heart to feel what they feel.   To care about what they care about.  To give to them as if I am giving to myself.  For those who are married,  “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife, loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:29-33) hmmm….

Even the Bible says it’s a great mystery.   Thankfully, it is a mystery that can be known.    For TWO to become ONE.   A connection so strong – so lasting – so intimate – that two people actually become ONE.   Not thinking of yourself individually, but thinking of the two of you, now ONE.  If you are married, don’t settle for less.  Do what it takes to have true oneness…  Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves”. (Phil. 2:3) Ladies, if you need a little help with that, check out the blog “For Wives Only”.   If you are single and looking for the “one”, don’t settle for less.   Ask the Lord to guide you to no doubt one of life’s greatest blessings… to experience True Love and to know it when you see it.

But how do we get there? 

The real answer will not be found on a grocery aisle magazine cover. 

Here it is…..


Wait for it…..

Wait for it….

We must have ONENESS WITH GOD.

Doesn’t sound exciting?  

Well just hold on there one minute!

 Is it possible that the root of the problem of oneness in relationships is our lack of oneness with God?  That we are being a Christ-follower in name only?  Mostly just going through religious motions?   Without the life Jesus offers?  Without the power He gives?  And leaving it at that?

But there’s more.  So much more.  That’s where the mystery I talked about gets really beautiful.  There is a true oneness that we can have with the Lord.  And that’s what the passage says:

“The two will become one flesh.  This is a profound mystery, but I am talking about Christ and His Church.  (Eph 5:32)




I am talking about Christ and His Church.

One flesh?  With the Lord? 


You see, we are Jesus’ bride.  More personally, YOU are Jesus ‘ bride.  I know that might be a tough concept for guys, but hang in there with me.    You are loved with an everlasting love.  He knows you personally.   Always has.   He knows you intimately and loves you completely.  It does not matter what you have done.  Just turn to Him. “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”  (another part of what James said in chapter 4)  His love will never let you go.  His love for you is kind and thoughtful.  He forgives and forgets.   His love is so great that He will take a bullet for you.  He will do whatever His bride needs… forever.  He proved that already when He suffered in your place on the cross.

He is a true and faithful and loving husband.   And wonderfully, nothing, absolutely nothing can separate us from His love.  Death?  Life?   Angels?  Demons?  The Present?  Things to Come?  Height?  Any powers? Depth?  Any other created thing?  Nope – nothing can separate us from His love.   Ever.  (Promised in Romans 8:38-39)

But an Enemy of yours wants to keep you from Him.  This Enemy wants to trick you into thinking you’ll miss out if Jesus is your first love.   This Enemy wants to trick you into serving another master….just not Jesus.  Anything….Anybody….just not Jesus!  Don’t fall for his tricks.

Turn to Jesus.

Surrender your first love… no matter what it is, so He will hold His first place position.

Trust Him… He truly knows what is best for you. 

Follow Him….no matter what.

Keep your eyes on Him.

Ok, so are you saying that when I have oneness with the Lord, I will have greater oneness with my spouse?   Yes.    That’s part of the mystery.    It might not happen overnight.  But as you come to know Jesus’ heart for you, and how He refreshes your heart with His daily thoughtfulness and selflessness, you will be transformed into His likeness.  And that will most certainly translate so you will love your spouse thoughtfully and selflessly too.    What a beautiful mystery!

And are you saying that when I have oneness with the Lord, I will be able to recognize true friendship – true love when I see it?   Exactly.   Not using.  Not abusing.  But sacrificing.  Selfless.  Regarding one another as more important than yourselves.”  All because you’re both staying in oneness with the Lord.

No doubt this is Jesus’ desire for us.

Here is likely the last prayer Jesus prayed with His friends…

“Father, I pray that they may be ONE, even as we are ONE.” (John 17:20-23)

So as we draw close to God and to each other, and help others to draw near to Him, we are the very answer to His prayer.

That is His heart.  He wants us all to come into unity with Him and with each other.

Nothing gives Him greater joy.   And nothing will give you greater joy either.

This is True Love.

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